The shock and awe continues…

X1 — This makes me very happy. Please, dear reader, when you’re finished here, head over to You Tube and do a search on JohnAccomando. He is my brother, and now has 3 of his original singles up on the tube. They are magnificent songs. John wrote and produced them, and others that will be posted in the next few weeks. I’ve posted these songs also on my YouTube site (ConditionalID, at DefCon5B). Support him by pumping up his views and put your positive comments down! Original art like this doesn’t come along very often, and just hearing it on the tube makes it all worthwhile, takes me out of my personal funkyness, and makes it all good. Thank you dear reader.  And now: for the shock (John’s music is the awe, I think).

Markers up slightly this month, about 70 each, I’m satisfied with this slight increase, I expected it — one more month and in my mind it will be a “trend”, and perhaps worth investigating via biopsy, but my bloodwork is still good, I’m feeling good, and have little or no pain anywhere. Basically, with the constipation cleared up I’m feeling better than I could have imagined. Even the cyst-like growths are shrinking. I’m at a lost as to why my results are so mixed anyway — the markers are picking up something, but I don’t know what.

Now, the only way I’ll proceed into any more chemo is if we get the two hot spots that showed on the PET biopsied first. I don’t want to start on the same chemotherapy when the cancer could be drug resistant or different. Clearly, some part of it has responded well to the Tamoxifen.  Nurse Deb, our NPC, asked me if I’d ever had a bone scan, the answer to that would be no .( After being on Zometa for the last 8 months, if my bones aren’t as strong as the Rock of Gibraltar I’ll be amazed although Tamoxifen is an estrogen blocker and after menopause, well, people get osteoporosis).

Also, at this point I gave her my solemn promise that if anything funky should happen with my now normalized bowel patterns I’d call immediately, etc. My husband was there and made his usual mental notes, which I rely on heavily The key point is “am I feeling okay”. I’m not feeling okay, I call, was what he got out of it.  At this point, I’m just watching how I feel because I’m not going back into chemo based on tumor markers, which may be slightly elevated due to a variety of conditions (including perhaps a new tech?). Too many things can cause them to go awry, and I need to know what this is first — another cancer, the same cancer, an infection, whatever. Both Nurse Deb and Flash, the onc, aren’t really sure what’s going on here, but we’re all glad the latest PET scan was “that good”.  I should be dead. On that we’re all in non-verbal agreement. But I’m not. Far from it at this point. This could change tomorrow, I know, but right now the shock and awe continues…

I’ve had bowel problems for forever. I think this cancer has just exposed the condition and now my body is dealing with it. I look forward to an even better report the beginning of June, which is when the next round of blood tests, etc. is scheduled.  Now that I’m pooping like a normal human, who knows where this will lead. You always hear the stories about cleansing and how beneficial it is to the system, well, let’s hope it’s all true. My appetite has increased, and save for the occassional allergy symptom even the nausea I used to have has faded.

I’m taking way less medicine, and, as Nurse Deb points out, even the smallest amount can constipate. Keeping in mind that I am 61 now, some things may be due to aging, not cancer. Since the problem seems to run in my family according to an aunt, this might be something different after all.  I’m open to the possibilities: we’re experiencing mixed results of some sort, this could be the same cancer, this could be another cancer, this could be non-cancer related, and the numbers could go up more, drop, or stay the same. Without more data I would be reluctant to proceed, and since there was no indication that I should have any more biopsy as of today’s date, even though I indicated I was open to it if Flash and Deb felt I needed the tests, nothing was scheduled for me. So, it’s business as usual until something breaks or happens to change it all. Shock and awe…

The weather is warming up, even my veins are cooperating. One stick. Just one, yesterday, for blood, and one stick today for Zometa. So that’s an improvement. I rested today. It was all good.

Joule Watt


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